Sunday, April 1, 2012


The future scares me.

To death.

I worry I'm going to fail... most of the time I'm positive I will fail. With things that have happened with me, I feel like I've ruined my chances to be successful.... And I don't like that.

I cry because I'm upset with myself. I cry because I'm worried. I cry because I feel like no matter what I do to change it, everything is working against me.

I know that most everyone worries about their future, and going out on their own, but I wish I wasn't one of them. I didn't used to be; I had everything figured out.

But when I changed interests, I didn't have any plans. I don't know which colleges are the best for photography, I don't know if I can get scholarships, I don't know. And I hate not knowing!


Nicole Marie said...

The future scares me to in every which way possible. I hate not knowing too and I can relate to this post 100%. I worry about failing, about money for school, I cry to myself about my safe.. basically on the same boat. Hang in there, girly. Now a follower of your blog. I'm a photographer too (non-professional). What's your major? Mine's is Physician Assistant. Take it easy!

Christen said...

Oh Rachel....You make me think of myself at times. Don't be scared, really - everything works out. Whether you think so now [which I'm sure you don't] I would love to see you in 10 years reading the blog post oyu just wrote and laughing at yourself as well. You are going to do amazing things - even more amazing than you have already done at age 16! You are inspiring - never forget that! :)

Christine said...

You know... no matter how much you plan for your future.. it will never be exactly as you planned... however everything always works out.. and usually for the best!! You're going to have an amazing future I know it :)